


Drunk on You

by dontlietomehoney



Category: Marianas Trench
Genre: Drunkenness, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontlietomehoney/pseuds/dontlietomehoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the guys go out to a bar, all Josh can think about is the way Matt is flirting with a group of girls, tall, sexy, blonde girls. But by the end of the night, Matt is drunk and hanging off of Josh, so the singer takes him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 “How long are we going to be here again?” Josh shouted over the loud music.

“Aw, c’mon Ramsay, I know you don’t drink, but there’s still some perks to coming to a club like this.” Matt had his arm slung over the singer’s shoulders. “Exhibit A. Look at all those lovely women over there.”

 

Josh didn’t want to look; he was so tired of looking, of watching Matt flirt with countless women and taking them home. Josh had had enough. He brushed Matt’s arm off his shoulder and went to the bar, waving over the bartender as he sat at one of the stools. He didn’t know where Mike and Ian had gone off to, but he wasn’t worried about the older men. They always seemed to find each other when it was time to go and made it back to their houses alright.

“What can I get ya?” The man asked.

“Got any Coke Zero back there?”

The guy smirked and nodded, moving to open a well hidden mini fridge behind the bar. He set the bottle on the counter and pushed it towards Josh. “Eleven bucks.”

Josh sighed, “Fuck. Here.” He unscrewed the cap and took a deep swig, loving the fizz that burned the back of his throat. When he turned in his seat though, Josh’s little bubble of Coke Zero happiness was burst.

Matt was in the middle of a group of women, all tall and blond and beautiful. Matt had a smile plastered to his face as he reached out and ran his fingers down the arm of the closest woman. She smiled too, giggled even, and Josh had to look away. He focused on his soda instead, steadily taking little sips until the bottle was empty, and even then he just played with the cap on the countertop. Josh wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting at the bar, just waiting for the others to find him, when Matt’s arm was suddenly around his shoulders again.

“Joshy, it’s good to see you,” Matt slurred.

“Where’s your friend?” Josh asked, trying to help the younger man to sit on the stool beside him before they both fell over under Matt’s weight. “And, fuck, how much have you had to drink?”

“What friend Joshy? You’re my friend right? My best friend,” Matt giggled.

“That blond,” Josh sighed.

“You’re blond too Joshy,” Matt tried to touch the singer’s hair but only wound up patting weakly at Josh’s face. “They left, so I got a drink, or two.”

Josh swatted the younger man’s hand off his face, “Yeah ‘or two’ sounds about right. Where did she go Matt? Thought you were here to find a woman for the night.”

“Nooo,” Matt drew the word out as he leaned in. “No, I mean she left to go home. Didn’t want her anyways, not when I’ve got you.”

“What are you talking about Matt?” Josh started looking around the club, hoping to catch a glimpse of the other two. “Have you seen Mi- MM!”

Matt stumbled against Josh, his lips sliding messily against the singer’s when he stood on his tip toes. Josh pushed the younger man off, blushing furiously when he caught the smile on Matt’s face.

“Matt what the hell are you doing?”

Matt giggled again, “You’re so much prettier than those girls were Joshy. Will you take me home?”

Josh licked his lips, regretting the action when he could taste the alcohol Matt’s kiss had left on him. He wiped away the wetness with the back of his hand before looking around the club one more time nervously. Matt was flush against him, leaning heavily on Josh’s chest and rubbing his hands up and down the singer’s arms. Josh wasn’t sure what to do.

“Will you?” Matt asked again.

“Wh-what? Will I what?”

“Take me home Joshy. I wanna go home with you.”

“You’re drunk Matty,” Josh tried.

“Even better!” Matt laughed. “I can’t drive like this right?”

“Well fuck,” Josh ran a shaky hand through his hair. Matt had a point.

Josh slowly wrapped his arms around the younger man, who had slumped against him. Matt hummed, his chest vibrating against Josh’s, and the singer had to close his eyes.

“I’ll take you home Matty, but just so you can get to bed and sleep this off.”

“Mm, don’t want to sleep. Wanna be with you,” Matt’s hands suddenly settled on Josh’s lower back, his fingers curling and uncurling to massage at the singer’s skin through his shirt and jacket.

Josh sighed, not bothering to answer the younger man. He pulled them through the crowd, Matt stumbling more and more as they went along. Right before getting to the door Josh felt another hand on him, and he turned to find Mike watching him with concern.

“He okay?”

“Yeah, just piss ass drunk. Gonna take him home and put him to bed before he falls on his face,” Josh still had to shout, and his throat was getting sore.

Mike nodded, “Alright. Here, take my keys. I can hitch a ride with Casselman. You two need to get there safe and I don’t trust this guy’s damn orange jeep called death trap.”

Josh laughed and took the offered metal. “Thanks Mike, I can bring your car back later tonight if you-”

Mike shook his head, “Nah, we all know how much of a handful this one can be drunk. You’ll probably have to crash on his couch and make sure he isn’t dead in the morning.”

Josh rolled his eyes but nodded his agreement, quickly saying his goodbye and hauling Matt out of the club. It took all of his strength to get the younger man settled into the passenger seat and buckled in, Matt fighting him the whole way. When Josh slid behind the wheel the younger man even tried to crawl into his lap, but was stopped by the seat belt locking into place.

“What the hell, Matt? You’ve never acted like this before,” Josh huffed.

“’S Joshy you… You Joshy,” Matt giggled. “So pretty Joshy.”

“Great, blaming me for this,” Josh mumbled, but couldn’t help the blush that coloured his cheeks. “Just stay on your side of the car till we get to your place alright? I don’t want to crash cause you can’t keep your drunk paws off me.”

 “Wh-what paws? J’st hands Joshy!” Matt exclaimed happily.

Josh chuckled softly, “Fine, hands to yourself alright?”

Matt pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and giving the singer big glassy eyes. “Alright Joshy.”

The singer bit his lip and tried to focus on the road. It wasn’t long before he was pulling into the driveway of Matt’s house and killing the engine. Matt was still pretty active for being so drunk, trying to unbuckle himself and kicking his feet when he couldn’t. Josh reached over, pushing the younger man’s hands out of the way and depressing the button to set Matt free. Matt laughed and was instantly launching himself into Josh’s arms.

“You helped me!” Matt sang. “Joshy helped me, so nice Joshy!”

Josh struggled to keep the younger man contained, nearly dropping him out of the car when he opened his door. Matt was glued to him, holding on and not letting go, so Josh had to pull the both of them out.

“Matt! Shit, you’re heavy. I- Ugh! I need my arms to get you into the house. And where- Gah! Don’t touch that Matt! Fuck, where are your keys?” Josh was in a constant battle to keep the younger man’s hands from travelling too low, and Matt just seemed to find it hilarious. “Where are your keys damn it!”

 Matt’s hand slipped out of Josh’s grasp and rubbed obscenely over Josh’s crotch. “Gotta find ‘em Joshy.”

Josh let out a quick gasp before tearing the younger man’s hand away from his front and trapping it with the other in just one of his own hands. He had somehow gotten them to the front door and was able to pin the younger man to the wall beside it, holding Matt’s arms high above their heads as he caught his breath. Matt squirmed against him, smiling deviously.

“Ooo, Joshy’s strong,” Matt murmured. He tried to lean forward, his lips puckered out, but Josh just leaned back, keeping the younger man supported up with his hips.

Josh tried to ignore the hardness he felt against his thigh, but it was tough when he had to pat the younger man down to find his keys. Matt just laughed and giggled, saying it tickled, but Josh had to get him inside the house before Matt escaped his grasp. And the younger man was certainly trying, twisting his wrists and tugging to get his hands free.

“Wanna touch you Joshy, why can’t I touch you?” Matt pouted again as Josh finally got the door open.

“Because you’re drunk damn it,” Josh grunted. He spun the younger man around, finally releasing his hold on Matt’s wrists, and slung his arm around Matt’s waist. He held him tight so he couldn’t get too far and walked them into the house as best he could as Matt tried to turn around and maul him.

“Not _that_ drunk Joshy, just wanna feel you ‘s all.”

“That’s the problem Matt; you don’t want to feel me when you’re sober, and so I don’t see why you’re acting like this now.”

“Who said that? I’ll hit ‘em,” Matt grumbled. “Always wanna touch my Joshy, such a pretty Joshy.”

The singer nearly had them to the bedroom then, scoffing under his breath as he half carried the younger man in his arms. “That’s why you always bring women home instead?”

“J’st want Joshy though, they’re not Joshy,” Matt hummed sadly. “’S why I don’t keep ‘em. They’re not you.”

Josh’s feet stuttered to a halt. He looked down at the younger man, only really seeing a head full of messy brown hair until Matt realized they had stopped and tilted his head to look back at the singer. Matt lifted a hand and patted weakly at Josh’s face again, like he had at the bar, his touch sloppy.

“Love my Joshy,” Matt whispered.

The singer dropped his head down without thinking, and caught himself just as his lips hovered over Matt’s. The younger man let out a surprised squeak of happiness and was quick to lift up and meet Josh’s lips with his own before the singer could pull back. Josh groaned, the taste of Matt and whatever alcohol the younger man had drunken thick in his mouth. The singer pulled his mouth away from the younger man’s and trailed it down his jaw, making a wet line to Matt’s neck.

“Shouldn’t be doing this…” Josh whispered against Matt’s skin.

The younger man grunted in frustration though, “Want it. I want you Joshy…My Joshy.”

Josh squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head to Matt’s shoulder. He knew he couldn’t do this. Not when Matt was so far gone. He just couldn’t take advantage of his best friend like this, no matter how sweet the younger man’s words sounded.

“Let’s just get you to sleep alright? Otherwise you’ll feel like shit in the morning,” Josh grunted.

“But-”

“No, no buts Matty. Not tonight.”

The singer dipped down and swept his arm under Matt’s legs, effectively lifting him up to carry him to the bedroom. Matt held on to him tightly, his head tucked just under Josh’s chin as he pouted. When Josh had him set down on the bed Matt began pulling at his clothes feebly, hands slipping against the leather jacket covering him. The younger man let out little sounds of frustration and looked up at Josh with glassy eyes. Josh sighed and decided he would only stay long enough to get the younger man changed, reaching down to unlace the boots Matt had on his feet.

He carefully placed the boots by Matt’s closet and moved closer to the bed to lift Matt up and pull his jacket off. When he would have moved away though, Matt grabbed at his wrist.

“Hurts Joshy,” Matt whimpered.

Josh was instantly worried. “What? What is it Matty, do you need to throw up?”

Matt rolled over onto his stomach with a groan and spoke into the pillow, “Mmm, nooooo. It hurts Joshy.”

“Tell me then, damn it, what hurts?”

It was only then that Josh realized the younger man was rutting against the mattress. Matt let out a soft moan and flipped over again, and Josh swallowed thickly. Matt’s hand was buried deep in his pants and moving fast.

“Will you help me Joshy?” Matt asked. “Can’t- can’t do it right. Will you do it for me?”

“I- Matt I shouldn’t,” Josh’s voice was low and gravelly.

Matt’s face screwed up, his brows drawing in close and his eyes snapping shut, and a whine escaped his lips. “Just- just want my Joshy,” Matt spoke quietly.

Josh bit his lip, nearly breaking the skin, as he watched Matt writhe on the bed. It wasn’t until he could see a tear escaping Matt’s eye that Josh broke. He was definitely not crashing on the couch tonight; he just couldn’t leave Matt this upset. Josh quickly kicked his own shoes off, toeing at his socks and pulling at his jacket, before tugging his shirt over his head. He moved to the other side of the bed and crawled in so he was lying beside the younger man, pulling Matt into his arms.

Matt curled into Josh’s side, sniffling quietly. “Joshy?”

“I’ll take care of you Matty, don’t worry, okay?” Josh whispered.

Matt wiped his nose against the pillow and looked up at Josh skeptically, “Really?”

Josh kissed the younger man’s nose softly, making Matt’s lips tug up into a smile. “Yeah Matty, I’m not going anywhere. Let me do that.”

Josh tugged softly at Matt’s hand, removing the younger man’s grasp from his own erection. Josh rolled so he was on top of the younger man, Matt lying flat on his back, and began to unbutton Matt’s shirt. He slowly revealed more and more skin, dipping down to brush his lips across the younger man’s tanned flesh. He really shouldn’t be doing this, but he wasn’t going to stop now. Matt’s hands were in Josh’s hair, twisting his fingers in the long strands as he let out little mewls every time Josh kissed at him.

“Almost there baby,” Josh whispered.

Josh was able to work the shirt off of Matt’s shoulders and throw it off the side of the mattress. His ran his fingers down the younger man’s chest and stomach, loving the feel of Matt’s warm skin under his hands. He had wanted Matt for so long, but he had never imagined Matt would want him too. He hesitated at the younger man’s waistband, his fingers trembling softly as he grasped the snap of the jeans. Matt didn’t protest though and Josh pulled it open before slipping the zipper down. He pulled until the jeans were half way down Matt’s thighs but stopped himself.

“I- I’m not gonna go too far okay? Just gonna take care of you,” Josh told him.

Matt seemed confused. “But I want-”

Josh stopped Matt’s words with his mouth, only slightly cringing away from the taste of the alcohol again. “I said no buts tonight Matty and I meant it. If you want me to help you, I’m gonna do it my way.”

Matt whined at the back of his throat but nodded anyways. “O-okay.”

Josh nodded too and moved back up the younger man’s body until he was perched just above the tent in Matt’s boxers. He leaned back, allowing his full weight to fall on the hardness below him and Matt let out a soft gasp, his hands scrambling to grab at Josh’s hips. The singer rocked forward slowly, his jeans catching roughly on Matt’s boxers, and rubbing them together.

Matt let out a whimper and pushed against Josh. “No, no, you- not like that-”

“Fuck.” Josh didn’t like it either; his jeans were keeping him from feeling it the way he wanted. “Alright Matty just hold on.”

The singer clambered off the younger man and pushed his own jeans off his hips, throwing his belt haphazardly and kicking the pants off his feet when they were low enough, and rolled back to Matt’s side. He pulled the younger man closer, curling into Matt’s side and throwing a leg over the younger man’s. Josh let his hand slip down farther and farther, only just hesitating at the waistband of Matt’s boxers again before slipping down into those as well. His fingers wrapped around Matt’s length, tugging softly, and his own hips worked against the younger man’s leg.

“J-Joshy!” Matt panted. His head was buried in Josh’s shoulder, and he shuddered at the singer’s touch.

“Shh Matty, ‘s gonna be okay,” Josh’s breathing was becoming heavier as well.

Josh pulled his hand away only long enough to lick across his palm and was back to gripping Matt’s warm length in his hand. Matt moaned into Josh’s skin and his hips bucked. Josh began a slow rhythm, working his hand in time to his hips as he tried to get some friction on his own straining cock. Matt had turned into him, their chests rubbing together as Josh continued to work his hand beneath Matt’s boxers.

“Joshy…” Matt breathed, his lips ghosting over Josh’s collarbone.

The singer squeezed his hand a little tighter, running his thumb over the head of Matt’s cock and feeling the pre cum that was leaking there. He shut his eyes and turned his lips to Matt’s neck, sucking softly at the younger man’s skin. Twisting his wrist, flicking it the way he liked on himself, Josh had Matt moaning, the younger man’s hips jerking wildly into Josh’s grasp.

“Almost there? You almost there Matty?”  Josh asked.

Matt nodded against Josh’s chest, his teeth digging into the collarbone he had been favoring, and his fingers dug into Josh’s biceps. Josh could feel himself getting closer too, his own movements against the younger man’s body rubbing against his cock just enough to pull him closer to the edge. The rest of it was all Matt, the younger man’s eagerness to feel Josh against him, and the little sounds escaping his lips. Josh was eating it all up, just taking it all in as he dropped his grip down to scrape his nails against the base of Matt’s length.

“Ah! Joshy please!” Matt whimpered.

Josh didn’t reply, simply repeating the motion once more before returning to his fast pace, rocking his hips and pulling more firmly with his hand. Matt began to shake in his arms, his breathing erratic against Josh’s skin, and it wasn’t long before he let out a series of little yelps and moans. Josh could feel the stickiness on his hand, the wetness coating his fingers as well as the younger man’s boxers. He didn’t stop until Matt went still, and he slowly pulled his hand out from under the younger man’s now ruined boxers.

“Gonna- well shit, I’ll go get something to clean you up baby,” Josh grunted.

The singer stumbled into the bathroom when he was sure Matt was going to be alright left alone on the bed. His legs felt weak and his cock was still hard at the juncture of his legs, heavy and aching. Josh shut the door of the bathroom and gripped the counter with his clean hand, dipping the hand covered in Matt’s cum beneath the waistband of his boxers to wrap around himself.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

He tried to work fast, the mere thought of working Matt’s cum into his own cock making him shake with release sooner than he thought possible. His own hot cum coated his fingers and he slumped against the counter to catch his breath. When he was able to think clearly he washed his hands, dropping his boxers into the bathroom hamper, and grabbed a small towel to clean Matt with. After getting it wet with warm water, Josh stumbled back into the bedroom.

“Matty,” Josh whispered, but the younger man didn’t move.

Josh set the rag on the bedside table and began to quietly finish undressing the younger man. Matt stirred a few times, humming softly when Josh cleaned him with the rag, but stayed sleeping, and Josh was able to fit a pair of checkered flannel pants onto the younger man. The singer had to settle for another pair of boxers for himself, Matt’s pants being a little too short to fit Josh’s long legs, and went to lie back down on the bed again. Matt was instantly at Josh’s side, curling into the singer’s waiting arms even in his sleep.

“G’night Matty,” Josh whispered, nosing into the younger man’s slightly damp hair.

It wasn’t long before the singer was drifting into sleep as well.

*          *          *

Josh jolted awake the next morning, his head feeling fuzzy, but when he tried to move he realized Matt was still lying half on his chest. The singer smiled softly and leaned down to lay a kiss on Matt’s cheek. Pulling back slowly, Josh was able to slip off the bed without waking the younger man. He had decided to see if he could find something for Matt to eat for breakfast, pulling on his tight jeans that had been thrown on the floor, but not buttoning them on his way to the kitchen. Food would help any remaining hangover the guitarist would have, but Josh knew it couldn’t be too much.

The singer rummaged around the cabinets before deciding toast would probably be best. He dropped a few slices into the toaster and went to see if Matt was still asleep. When he got to the younger man’s room though, the bed was empty, and Josh could hear retching from the closed bathroom door.

“Shit,” Josh whispered.

When he opened the bathroom door he found the younger man huddled in front of the toilet, heaving. The sound of Matt’s vomit hitting the water made Josh cringe but he moved forward anyways, and he sat on the lip of the tub close to Matt’s side. The younger man jumped when he felt Josh’s hand on his back, and he moved slightly to look at the singer out of the corner of his eye.

“What- um,” Matt grimaced and wiped weakly at his lips as if to clean them. “What are you doing here Ramsay?”

“Trying to help,” Josh told him, his brow furrowing a bit in confusion.

“Where the hell’s your shirt? Did you stay the night?”

Josh froze, his breath hitching in his chest and his stomach dropping. “You- you don’t remember last night huh?”

Matt chuckled dejectedly. “I remember the club and the drinking. Sorry about that.”

Josh just shook his head to let the younger man know he didn’t care about the drinking. “Nothing else?”

Matt breathed out heavily, his eyes closed, and smiled. “I had a terrific dream in all my drunken stupor, if that counts for anything.”

Josh felt a little jolt of hope, “What-uh, what was it about man?”

That caused Matt to tense up and he looked up at Josh skeptically. “Why?”

“I- I was just wondering, you don’t gotta get all defensive Webb,” Josh pushed up from the tub and walked to the door.

Matt coughed and Josh froze. “It wasn’t anything important okay? Just some sexy blond, and man could she give the best hand jo-”

Josh stopped listening then, leaving the younger man alone in the bathroom. He moved quickly to gather his things from around the room, pulling on his shirt and jacket, and was moving out to the kitchen again. He stopped when he saw that the toaster had long ago popped out the two slices he had put in, and tried to catch his breath. The singer moved to pull the toast from the machine and set the two slices on a plate that he put on the edge of the counter for Matt to discover later. He had to get out, so he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Matt forgot what happened between them, Josh has been avoiding the younger man, until Matt can't take it anymore and confronts him. But it doesn't end the way Matt thought it might.

Josh’s phone buzzed in his pocket, but he ignored it. He knew it was just Matt again. The younger man had been trying to text and call him since Josh had bolted, asking if he was okay, asking why he had left so quickly. Josh just couldn’t deal with it yet.

“You gonna get that anytime soon?” Ian asked.

Josh jolted at the voice beside him. He had almost entirely tuned out, forgetting that he was seated next to the older man while they waited for their food.

“It’s not uh-” Josh cringed as he nearly let out the same words that had hurt him so badly. It’s not important. He couldn’t say that, not when it really was. “I don’t really wanna talk to them.”

“Who is it?” Ian prodded.

Josh sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Fuck, he needed a shower.

“Is it Matt?” Ian spoke again.

Josh snapped his gaze to the older man’s. “How the fuck-?”

Ian waved his hand dismissively. “The kids been texting me too, asking if I know where you are, if you’re okay. What the hell is going on? Last I heard, he was drunk as hell and you were taking care of him.”

“I- He…” Josh let out a heavy sigh and let his head hit the table with a bang. “I did something last night. Something I shouldn’t have done.”

Ian scooted closer to the singer and patted his arm reassuringly. “Wanna tell me what it was?”

“I can’t,” Josh whispered, “you’ll hate me.”

Ian scoffed and swatted at Josh’s arm. “Give me some more credit than that would ya? I’m your friend, your band member, and I consider you family. I’m not gonna hate you, no matter what you do.”

Josh rolled his head to the side, peeking up at the older man through the curtain of his blond and blue bangs. “I-I was with Matt and he… Fuck he just kept touching me, and… I couldn’t just leave him like that. Shit, I should have just slept on the couch like Mike told me to, and I shouldn’t have let Matt get to me like that either. Fuck, Ian, I messed up okay? I just- I can’t- I don’t know what to do.”

Ian was watching him with worry in his eyes. The older man sat back a little. “Something… happened between you and Matt? Josh, I didn’t know you…”

Josh couldn’t hold it in anymore, tears starting to track down his cheeks, so he buried his face in his hands. “I fucking love him,” Josh whispered, “but he doesn’t even remember what happened last night.”

“You two- um, had…”

Josh sat up quickly, “No! No, no, no. I would never do that while he was drunk. I just- we… touched okay? I touched…” Josh screwed up his face before dropping it down to the table again. “Fuck, I’m such an asshole. I’m fucking disgusting. All I ever do is fuck shit up, and now I don’t know if I can even face my best friend again.”

It was quiet for a long time, the only sounds being the noise from the restaurant and Josh’s soft sniffling. Finally, Ian sighed and once again put a reassuring hand on Josh’s shoulder. The singer jumped a little but didn’t pull away, lifting his head from the table to look at the older man again.

“He really didn’t remember?” Ian asked.

Josh shook his head and wiped at his runny nose. “He thought it was a dream, thought it was a woman.”

Ian’s eyes filled with pity, and Josh had to look away. “Fuck. I’m sorry man. And, hey, you are not disgusting okay? Like I said, I don’t hate you. We all know how touchy feely Matt can get when he’s drunk, and I know you would never take advantage of him like that.”

“But I did, I- I-”

“No, stop it. I know you okay? I may be learning some new things about you, like how you like men…which is different…but fine, but you’re damn sure not disgusting, and I know for a fact you would never do anything  to hurt one of us let alone Matt. We can deal with this, try to figure out how to fix it. Okay? Just give it some time.”

“Will you- um, will you call him and make sure he’s alright?” Josh asked.

“He’s the one calling you to see if you’re alright Josh.”

“I know, I just- please?”

Ian sighed, but moved to scoot out of the booth. “If my food gets here before I’m back, I had better have some damn french-fries left.”

Josh felt his lips curve up just slightly, and he nodded. Ian hesitated a moment more, watching the singer fiddle with the napkin in front of him and wipe at his eyes, before leaving the restaurant to make the call.

*          *          *

“What do you mean he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Matt fumed.

“Look Matt,” Ian’s voice came through over Matt’s cell phone, “he’s just not feeling well right now. He’s okay, really, but he needs some space. At least for now.”

“I don’t understand. He was here at my place this morning, and then he just took off. I tried to follow him, but he was just gone.” Matt fumbled with the plate in front of him. “He made me toast though.”

“What?” Ian asked.

“The bastard stuck around long enough to make me toast, but doesn’t want to give me an explanation as to why he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Ian huffed and Matt could almost hear his exasperation through the phone.

“Don’t fucking start in on him Matt. He needs his fucking space.”

“Calm down Casselman, geez! I’m just worried about my friend here,” Matt huffed back.

“Look Matt,” Ian started again, “I know you’re worried, okay? Maybe you can drop by his place in a little bit and see him, but just let me have lunch with him, try to talk him down.”

“Talk him down? Talk him down from what? Ian, please tell me what’s going on,” Matt pleaded.

“I can’t Matt, ‘s not my place to say anything. What you need to do is get yourself cleaned up and think about what happened last night.”

“Fuck, are you speaking riddles now or some shit?” Matt was getting entirely too frustrated with this conversation. “I got drunk, end of story.”

“No,” Ian spoke firmly, “not end of story. Not for Josh.”

“What do you mean? Did he say something? Did I do something?”

“Something. Just get ready to head over to his place and I’ll try to talk him into seeing you. If he doesn’t want to though, you had better be willing to back off. I’m not kidding about this Matt.”

“Alright…” Matt sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, just text me when to be there and I’ll head over. I won’t get out of the car until I know he will see me.”

“Sure. Oh and Matt?”

“Yeah?”

“Your jeep is still at the club from last night.”

“Well shit,” Matt grumbled.

“I’ll text you.” Ian hung up.

Matt set his phone down on the counter and he looked at the plate of cold toast yet again. He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with Josh. Everything had seemed fine the night before, at least up until Matt had started to black out. But that dream he had had… It had felt so real… He sighed again, tugging at the strands of hair he still held in his hand. What could he have done that had made Josh so upset? His Josh. Wait, what?

Matt shook the stray thought out of his head and pushed away from the counter, tossing the toast into the trash can as he made his way to his room to get dressed. It wasn’t until he was looking for his belt that he realized there was another in the room with his, a pink one. Josh’s belt.

“What the fuck did I do last night?” Matt asked himself aloud.

*          *          *

Josh wouldn’t see him. No matter how hard Ian had prodded, the singer just wouldn’t do it, and seeing the younger man’s orange jeep parked outside of Josh’s house only set the singer off worse. Josh had yelled, storming out of the car and into his house, brushing tears off of his cheeks as Ian followed behind dejectedly.

“Josh please, he just wants to know that you’re alright,” Ian tried.

The singer shook his head and kept moving. Ian stopped at the singer’s door and looked out at Matt’s jeep, shaking his head sadly before following Josh inside to see if he could talk to him again.

Matt cursed under his breath, pulling his cell phone out and called the only other person he could think of that might be able to help. It wasn’t long before another car pulled up behind Matt’s and the younger man’s passenger door was pulled open.

“What the hell is going on?” Mike asked as he climbed into Matt’s jeep.

“That’s what I’d like to know. I feel like everything is falling apart right now and I don’t know why. What happened at the club last night?”

“You were flirting with some girl, blond probably if I know your type, but I wasn’t watching you all night. I know Josh was just at the bar with a coke, but when I saw you again you were drunk and hanging off Josh’s arms. I let him use my car to bring you home, but that’s about all I know. What am I missing?”

Matt sighed, vague images of a tall blond swimming through his mind. She certainly wasn’t who he had dreamed about though, so Matt was even more confused. His dreams and what he remembered all seemed off, like some were more dream than others, Josh’s face meshing into his frayed thoughts as well. But that had to be just his concern for his friend.

“I don’t really know,” Matt said. “I woke up with a hangover and thought I was home alone, but then Josh was there. I guess I don’t remember him bringing me home. He kind of bolted though, just ran out, and now he won’t talk to me.”

“What do you mean he won’t talk to you? He always talks to you.”

“I know! That’s what I don’t get. I talked to Ian earlier and he made it seem like I did something to Josh last night, but I don’t know what I could have done to make him this upset.”

Mike sighed and looked at Josh’s house. “Alright, well let’s go. You keep a low profile till I talk to him though okay?”

Matt nodded and jumped out of the car before Mike could say anything else. When they slipped in the door they could already hear Ian’s voice trying to sooth the upset singer.

“Josh, seriously. I know what you said at the restaurant but you have to talk to him, you have to let him know. This is eating you up right now, and you know it,” Ian’s voice floated out.

Mike and Matt followed it, trailing down the hallway towards Josh’s bedroom. Mike slowly pushed open the slightly ajar door and stepped in, leaving Matt out in the hallway to wait.

“Josh,” Mike spoke softly.

“What are you doing here man?” Josh asked quietly.

“Matt called me.”

“Shit. He didn’t leave huh?”

“Josh man, come on. What’s going on?” Mike asked.

Matt listened intently but didn’t hear any noise for a long time.

“He’s out there isn’t he?” Josh asked, his voice still nearly as low as a whisper.

Matt sighed.

“Yeah,” Mike sounded a little sheepish.

More silence. Matt was about ready to break it when the door swung open fully once again to reveal the singer. His eyes were rimmed red and his lips looked swollen, probably from biting them. Josh eyed the younger man shyly before stepping back and going to sit down again, leaving the door open in invitation.

“Hey Joshy,” Matt started.

The singer flinched slightly at the nickname. “Hey Matt.”

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Matt asked.

“Not really…”

Ian nudged Josh’s shoulder with his fist, just pushing against him slightly to try and urge him to speak. Josh glanced at the curly haired man and let one side of his mouth quirk up in a weak smirk.

“I um… last night was just a little rough for me okay?” Josh addressed Matt again.

“What happened?”

“Matt just… um…” Josh looked worried and his eyes shifted to each of their faces before settling on his blanket. “Some things were said that I wasn’t sure were really meant…But I guess they weren’t so… I’m just being stupid really.”

“What? What got said Joshy?” Matt sat down next to the singer, but space was instantly made between them by Josh shifting away. “Was it me?”

Josh’s eyes flickered up to Matt’s, and he gave another broken smile. “It’s nothing Matty… I just needed a little time to get my head on straight okay? I didn’t um… I didn’t get much sleep last night, so… Would you guys mind heading out?”

Mike and Ian moved to the door immediately, hesitating a moment longer to watch Matt. The guitarist reached out for Josh’s hand, but again the singer pulled back so Matt settled for his knee.

“Are you sure everything is okay now Joshy?” Matt asked softly.

“Yeah…” Josh nodded, his gaze cast down, watching Matt’s hand intently on his knee.

Matt stayed still a moment longer, his fingers curling in slightly to grip the singer’s leg a little tighter. Josh’s breath hitched slightly.

“I’m just tired is all. Just getting my head on straight,” Josh repeated.

Matt sighed, but nodded too and stood to move closer to Mike and Ian. “So you’ll keep talking to me then?”

“Yeah I’m almost there, just some sleep and I’ll be good as new.”

The singer’s words jolted into Matt, his mind racing at the mention of those two words, _almost there._ He could almost hear Josh’s voice saying them as a question… Like he had heard them in his dream, but he didn’t really know what that meant.

“Okay,” Matt swallowed thickly. “Okay, we’ll leave you to sleep then. Feel better, yeah?”

Josh nodded silently, and the three men moved to close the door slowly. When it was shut Ian sighed heavily, looking a bit upset as he walked away. Mike followed, leaving Matt alone in front of the singer’s door where he hesitated yet again. He could hear soft shuffling noises behind the door, and he let out a tired sigh. His head was pounding, and most of it wasn’t from the alcohol he had drunk the night before. A large majority of it had come from the stress of hurting his friend.

Matt walked silently down the hallway and out the front door, to leave Josh some time to rest. This was far from settled, but Matt was willing to give the singer a little room to figure things out. He just wished he could get the sound of Josh’s voice rasping through his memory to stop long enough to remember what had actually happened the night before. All Matt could think about though, was the singer’s voice, his red rimmed eyes, his hands… Fuck, his hands. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Josh’s hands?

*          *          *

Over the next few days Josh stayed distant, but many times Matt caught the singer watching him. Josh was still getting back to normal though, laughing with Mike and Ian when they would play video games or just hang out. It was just Matt that the singer tried to avoid. Matt brushed it off though, knowing that they would be going back on tour soon. He would have plenty of chances to talk to his friend then. And up until they were actually on the bus together Matt had given the singer his space, but he was ready to try and get his friend back.

“Hey Joshy,” Matt crowed as he sat down close to the singer.

Josh was at the small table, an apple in his hand and a pad of paper set out in front of him. When Matt sat down next to him, Josh scooted closer to the bus wall, trying to create as much space as possible, but Matt just followed.

“How are you?” Matt tried again.

Josh watched him warily. “I’m okay. You?”

“Could be better,” Matt shrugged. He threw an arm over the back of the booth-like chair close to Josh’s shoulder, and the singer tensed. Matt sighed. “Come on Josh, won’t you tell me what happened that night? I don’t remember what the problem is.”

Josh’s face scrunched up just slightly, anger and hurt showing in his eyes. “That’s just it Matty, you don’t remember.”

Matt was kind of stunned. For one, this was the most open the singer had been with him in weeks, and for two, he was a little shocked by Josh’s reaction. “So, um… Will you tell me?”

Josh hunched his shoulders and took a small bite of his apple. He chewed on the little bit in his mouth until there was nothing left to chew, and sighed. He looked to Matt again, catching the expectant glance of the chocolate brown eyes. “I- I just don’t know…”

Matt twisted in his seat, turning to look at Josh full on. “Please Josh. I need to know how to fix this. I need to know why you will barely even look at me anymore. I just- I just need my Joshy back.”

The singer felt his eyes prick with the need to cry, but he forced himself to keep looking. Forced himself to see the man beside him as more than just a hurtful memory. “I’m sorry Matty,” Josh whispered.

The younger man’s lips curved into a hopeful smile. “So… will you tell me then?”

“Matty,” Josh whispered.

The sound was loud in the empty tour bus, and it made Matt feel a little nervous and excited at the same time. He had wanted to talk to Josh alone, making sure Mike and Ian were off getting food while he confronted the singer, but he was a little less certain of his plan now.

“Please Josh,” Matt urged him.

“I just don’t think I should…”

“Why? Why not Joshy?”

“I… because I remember, I know what happened and you don’t. It wasn’t enough for you to remember Matty, and maybe we should leave it that way. I don’t mean to push you away, I just- I just wish you remembered like I do, but that’s not gonna happen.”

Matt was more confused than ever. “I don’t understand. Did- did I do something to you Joshy? Did I hurt you?”

Josh’s eyes went wide. “No, god no. It wasn’t you… I mean… no. You didn’t hurt me Matty.”

“Did- shit did something happen between us?” Matt wasn’t sure why he had asked, but he couldn’t hold the words back. Ever since that night he hadn’t been able to get Josh out of his head, out of his dreams, and everything felt so familiar when he looked at the singer.

Josh’s eyes seemed to go impossibly wider. “What?” he squeaked.

Matt mentally slapped himself. “I mean, I know I can be a little hard to handle when I’m drunk… and, um… I found your belt in my room…”

Josh swallowed thickly and looked down at his half eaten apple, no longer feeling hungry. He set the fruit on the table and fiddled with the pad of paper. “Just stop Matt. Please.”

“Shit,” Matt ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t shut down on me again.”

The singer jumped slightly when Matt’s hand landed on his. “I-”

“No, please Josh. I can’t let you slip away from me like that again.” Matt suddenly felt the singer’s hand on his chest, and he realized he had pushed the older man back against the bus wall. Josh was breathing a little quicker, but it didn’t seem to be out of fear.

“Matty, you didn’t hurt me okay? What happened between us…It wasn’t like that okay? I’m fine.”

Matt’s heart raced. Josh was admitting that something had happened between them. “What- what did we do?”

Josh’s eyes snapped to Matt’s. “Let me out.”

“What?” Matt asked.

“I can’t- I can’t get out. Will you let me out Matt? Please?” Josh was pushing against Matt’s chest again.

“Josh, we need to talk about this.”

Josh pushed a little more forcefully, but only sent the younger man back by a few inches. “I’m done talking for now Matt. Just let me out.”

Matt scooted back another few inches, but didn’t let Josh move yet. “Josh-”

“Damn it Matt! Please!”

“What’s going on here?” Mike’s voice rang out.

Matt spun around to find the older man standing just inside the bus’s doorway, Ian right behind him. They moved closer, but Josh was already climbing over Matt and heading for the door. Ian hesitated before following the singer out, and left Mike and Matt alone.

Matt let his head fall back, lightly knocking against the wall. “I screwed up again didn’t I?”

Mike sighed and sat across from him at the table. “Maybe you should just get ready for the show tonight.”

“Yeah,” Matt spoke quietly. “Tell him sorry for me if Ian gets him back inside alright? I didn’t- I didn’t mean to push him too far.”

“I will.”

“Thanks.” Matt stood and headed for the back of the bus.

*          *          *

Josh was so different on stage. He moved like he had no cares in the world. He joked with the crowd and laughed with them too. Matt could almost believe that he was back to himself, but he knew that wasn’t it. When they got back on the bus after the show, Matt knew Josh would be just as far away as he had been. But for now, Matt was happy just watching, just listening to the singer keen out every note perfectly.

He couldn’t help feeling for the singer, wanting to touch him when Josh was so happy. Matt just wanted a piece of that euphoria, and Josh just emitted it like it was leaking from his pores. The guitarist wasn’t sure why, but he had always felt drawn to the singer, even in high school, and he was sure that that was why he had caused whatever trouble there was between them. He had always been bad at controlling himself, even when he thought he had a handle on it. He still wasn’t sure what he had done, but he knew he couldn’t just take it back. Josh didn’t seem to want him to take it back; the singer just wanted him to remember.

Matt closed his eyes as he plucked at his guitar, trying to bring back that night. All he could see was jumbled images, long blond hair that didn’t last long before it was replaced by a blue streak. Josh. He could remember being with Josh at the club, but Mike had said Josh took him home. Matt glanced at the singer for a moment, singing his own back up chorus right when he needed to, and once again was focused on Josh’s hands.

The singer had a loose hold on his guitar’s neck, his fingers pressing into the fret and strumming along with the rest of the band. Matt watched as Josh’s fingers travelled up and down, hitting different notes with each different position, and he had to slap himself back into reality. He felt breathless. It was just like his dream, that feeling of not being able to breathe, and biting down to try and get a hold on what he was feeling. His Joshy. Shit, that dream had felt so real.

Matt felt like his world was spinning out of control as the realization hit him. Had the mystery girl in his dream actually not been a girl at all? His breathing kicked up a notch as he watched the singer with wide eyes. Was that why Josh was so upset? The dream wasn’t a dream at all? Had it been Josh’s hands on his body?

The rest of the concert was a blur for Matt and when he had the chance, he escaped as fast as he could. He left his guitar on its stand, knowing Brett would take care of it, and took off towards the nearest bar he could find. He had to get a drink.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is drunk again and does yet another thing he regrets, until Josh sits him down and they talk it out, and then some.

“Did you see where Matt got to?” Ian asked.

Josh looked up from his phone, his fingers stilling mid-text. “You don’t know where he is?”

“No, he took off right after the show. Security wasn’t fast enough to follow.”

“Shit,” Josh murmured.

“Yeah,” Mike spoke up. “Ian and I thought we could go out and look for him. Would you mind staying here in case he comes back? I mean, I know you two kind of had a thing this morning, but-”

“It’s fine, go. I was just gonna try writing anyways, so you guys head out and I’ll try calling him or something.”

“You sure?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, yeah just find him alright?” Josh waved them off.

Josh pulled his phone back up as the two men traipsed out of the bus, and started a text.

_Where are you?_

There was no response though, so Josh tried calling next. The line went blank after the fifth ring, and the silence of the call was interrupted by a blast of noise.

“Hello?” Matt called.

“Matt its Josh. Where are y-”

“Joshy! It’s so good to hear from you Joshy! Can we talk?”

Josh was silent for a moment, dragging a hand through his hair. “You’re drunk again aren’t you?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Joshy. Can we talk?” Matt asked again.

“Yeah sure. Tell me where you a-”

The line went dead.

“Shit,” Josh murmured.

He tried to call the younger man’s phone again, but it went straight to voicemail. He tried for a few more minutes but decided to stop trying. He was just about to start a text to Mike and Ian telling them to look in bars or clubs, when Josh heard a loud bang from the bus door. He got to his feet, his phone forgotten on the little table, and moved to open the door. He was shocked to see Matt struggling up the two little steps to enter the bus.

The younger man gasped, “Joshy! You said we could talk so I came right back!”

Josh caught Matt against him, the younger man having tripped over the lip of the door. Matt hummed happily and wrapped his arms around the singer’s waist. The singer pulled them further into the tour bus and closed the door.

“Matt stop,” Josh pushed against him.

“But- but Joshy I have something to tell you,” Matt whispered conspiratorially.

Josh sighed heavily as he dragged the guitarist to the backroom. They all had their bunks, but the back room had a larger bed where anyone could crash, and Josh didn’t want to try and roll a drunken Matt onto the top bunk. Instead he plunked the guitarist down on the larger mattress that had easier access.

“What do you have to tell me Matt,” Josh stayed standing by the bedside.

“I- um…” Matt’s face contorted into a look of concentration. “Right, um…”

“Matt, come on. I need to text Mike and Ian before-”

“No wait!” Matt scrambled on the mattress until he was kneeling on the edge, holding Josh’s arm tightly in his grip. “Wait Joshy, I remember!”

“You remember what you were going to say?”

“Noooo,” Matt laughed and poked at Josh’s cheek. “I remember what happened between us.”

Josh’s eyes widened. “You- you remember that night?”

Matt gripped Josh’s arm tighter, making the singer wince. “I remember your hands Joshy. How they felt against me… So good Joshy… Will you do that again?”

“What?” Josh tried to pull away. “No Matt, we can’t, especially if you’re drunk like this again. It’s not gonna happen.”

Matt looked a little panicked, and he tugged on Josh’s arm until the singer was forced to bend down and throw a knee onto the mattress to keep from falling completely. “Joshy! Look, I know it wasn’t a dream. You said- you said you just wanted me to remember, and I do now. Can we please just go back? Can we be like we were? I want- I want to be with my Joshy.”

“Matt no, you don’t know what you’re asking me. What if you don’t even remember this in the morning like last time? I can’t handle something like that again Matty. I’m barely holding on as it is.” Josh tried to push off Matt’s hands wrapped around his forearm, but Matt just wouldn’t let go.

“Joshy, you can’t say that. I remembered!”

“That’s not enough!” Josh cried.

Matt’s mouth opened and closed in surprise. “Joshy I just want us to be together.”

“I said this last time, and I’ll say it again Matt: you don’t want me when you’re sober. I don’t just want a drunk Matt I want you all the time, and you don’t want me the same way. We can’t do this.”

Matt shook his head, “But I do, I want you all the time too! Like- like tonight! At the concert, I couldn’t stop watchin’ you Joshy. So pretty.”

Josh paused for a moment, his fight against Matt’s grip stopping at he looked into the younger man’s eyes. Matt smiled lopsidedly and took Josh’s moment of silence as something it wasn’t. He leaned forward and forced his lips onto the singer’s. Josh pushed with his one free hand against Matt’s shoulder.

“MM! St- stop it Matt! Please,” Josh was somehow able to get his arm out of the younger man’s grip and push Matt back, but the younger man just kept coming.

“But Joshy! We can be together now. I remembered, remember?” Matt giggled and sat up on the bed when Josh stood up straight.

The singer tried to make it to the door so he could leave Matt alone, but the younger man was instantly off the bed and following. Josh spun around just in time to feel Matt’s arms wrap around his waist, and he began falling backwards.

Josh let out a shout of surprise as they both tumbled to the floor of the tour bus, landing heavily in the narrow aisle. Josh’s head bounced roughly against the floor, kicking back up from the force of the fall, and his breath was knocked out of him from Matt landing on his chest. The singer felt dazed, his vision blurring in and out as Matt mumbled apologies and kissed at his neck.

“Nnngh, nooo,” Josh slurred. “M-Matty stop it. Head hurts.”

Matt pushed clumsily against Josh’s chest, and straddled the singer’s waist. “Just want to be with my Joshy,” Matt whispered.

Josh was finding it harder to focus. Matt slotted their lips together and kissed the singer roughly, licking into Josh’s mouth and moaning. Josh tried pushing Matt off still, but his attempts were weak. His head just hurt so badly. Matt trailed his lips along Josh’s jawline and the singer was able to breathe a little easier without the younger man’s mouth on his own.

“M-Matty please don’t…” Josh gasped out.

Matt just wouldn’t listen, Josh’s head lolling to the side, and pushed the singer’s shirt up to reveal his flat stomach. Josh wasn’t sure how long they were there, Matt’s hands running up and down his chest while still kissing sloppily at Josh’s neck, but the door of the bus suddenly swung open.

“-don’t know where he could have gone.” Mike’s voice drifted through the open door.

“Maybe if we called him again,” Ian suggested.

Mike and Ian didn’t step onto the bus though, and Josh threw his arm out as if to reach for them. “Mmm… Mike… Ian?” Josh called, his voice raspy.

Matt grumbled against Josh’s neck but didn’t stop what he was doing.

“Josh?” Mike’s voice sounded confused. “Josh! What the fuck Matt?”

Josh felt suddenly lighter, Matt being lifted off of him, and Ian was by his side. He could hear Matt protesting as Mike pulled him into the back room again, and Ian lifted him up. Josh winced but let himself be cradled against the older man’s thigh as Ian pried his eyes open.

“Josh are you okay? What happened?” Ian asked. “Your pupils are huge man; did you hit your head?”

The singer moaned softly and nodded, swatting Ian’s hand away. “He didn’t- didn’t mean to…”

“He hit you though?”

“No… just fell… ‘M tired Ian. Can I sleep now?” Josh could hardly keep his eyes open anyways, but Ian shook him.

“No, no Joshy. You gotta stay awake okay? We’re gonna get a medic here to see you.”

In the distance Josh could already hear Mike’s voice speaking rapidly, but the singer couldn’t make out the words.

“What happened Josh?” Ian prodded.

“Called Matt… he asked if we could talk,” Josh started. His head ache was getting worse but his vision was starting to clear a bit.

“What else? How’d he get back here?”

“Mmm, don’t know. He just showed up after I called him. Drunk. I tried to put him to bed in the back, but he wouldn’t let me leave. Told me he remembered what happened between us…”

“Shit,” Mike murmured.

“Said- said he wanted us to be together, but I didn’t know if he would remember in the morning.” Josh’s vision began to blur again, but not because of his head. He could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. “Where’d he go?”

“I locked him in the bathroom. At least he can throw up in there,” Mike huffed.

“’Kay. Don’t- don’t be mad at ‘im,” Josh tried.

“He was all over you Josh, what if we hadn’t gotten here when we did?” Ian asked.

Josh turned his head away from the older man’s gruff question and curled his legs in closer to his chest. “Not like that. Matt’s not like that…”

Mike sighed and slid onto the floor as well. “Okay Joshy, we’ll just leave him in the bathroom for now okay?”

Josh nodded, regretting the action when it brought the tears back to his eyes. There was a knock at the door and Ian let Mike pull Josh into his arms while the curly haired man went to answer the door.

“Sir, did you call for a medic?” A gruff voice asked.

“Yeah, you can let him in,” Ian stepped aside and two men entered.

One man they all knew as security and the other had on a uniform. Security stayed by the side of the door, his eyes wary of the man in the white shirt as he knelt down beside Mike and Josh.

“What’s the problem?” The medic asked.

Mike helped Josh sit up a little straighter. “He hit his head. We just want to make sure he’s alright.”

The man nodded and pulled out a pen light from his bag. He clicked it on and tapped Josh on the knee. “Sir, I’m going to shine this in your eyes. Is that alright?”

“Who’re you?” Josh asked.

“My name is Spencer sir. Can I take a look at your eyes?”

Josh hesitated but nodded and Spencer moved closer. He lifted a gloved hand and held Josh’s eyes open as he flicked the light back and forth over Josh’s eyes. He sat back on his heels and held the light up in his hand.

“Can you follow this with your eyes? Don’t move your head okay?”

Josh did as he was told after blinking tightly a few times. The medic nodded and clicked the light off. He moved closer again and tapped at Josh’s knee once more to get the singer’s attention.

“Where does your head hurt the most sir?”

Josh lifted a hand and weakly pointed to the back of his skull.

“Alright, do you mind if I feel back there? I also need to ask you some questions.”

“Sure Spence,” Josh smiled.

The medic smiled too and lifted his hands to prod at the singer’s head. “What’s your name?”

“Josh.”

“Full name?”

“Joshua Miles Ramsay.”

“Okay good. How old are you?”

“Just turned twenty-eight not too long ago,” Josh answered pleasantly.

“Happy belated birthday then sir.” The medic continued with a few more questions after finishing his inspection, and then turned to look at Mike, who still sat behind the singer to support him. “Did he have any slurred speech when you first found him?”

“No not really. He said he was tired though.”

The medic nodded and moved back to pull his gloves off. “Alrighty then, I think I’m done here. It looks like he just took a good knock. No signs of concussion are visible, and his reactions are just like they should be. He’ll probably have a headache for a few days, and maybe some dizziness, but other than that he seems perfectly healthy.”

Mike and Ian sighed in relief.

“Does this mean I get to sleep now?” Josh asked.

“Yep, it sure does Mr. Ramsay. I’m sure your nice friends here would be willing to help you get to your bed too.”

Mike laughed and moved to lift the singer up onto his feet. Josh swayed but made a point to pat the medics shoulder gratefully. When Mike returned he shook the medics hand.

“Thanks for all the help Spencer. We really appreciate you taking a look at our friend.”

“Not a problem sir, just be sure to keep an eye on him for the next few days.”

Mike and Ian nodded, ushering the man towards security once again to be led off the bus.

“So what do we do now?” Ian asked.

“Well first we need to deal with that dumb ass Matt. But then we should probably get some sleep so we can hit the road in the morning.”

Ian sighed and nodded. “Alright, let’s do this.”

When they went to the back room, they could already here Matt’s shouts through the door. Both men shook their heads and went to let the younger man out.

*          *          *

Matt felt like shit. Josh was across the bus, dark circles under his eyes as his head kept dropping to his chest before popping back up, and every time they would go over a bump the singer would wince. Matt had caused that. He had hurt his best friend. Again. And he remembered this time. All of it. He had sobered up quickly when Mike had forced him into the bathroom last night, and he felt terrible about what he had done.

He hadn’t listened to a one of Josh’s requests for him to stop. Hell, he had flat out forced himself on the singer, and Josh hadn’t even been able to push him off. Matt could even make out a faint bruise on the singer’s forearm, one that Matt knew he could match up to his own hand perfectly. He was such a dumb ass. He couldn’t even control himself for one night, and he had hurt his best friend in more ways than he thought possible.

Matt was so far into his own thoughts that he didn’t realize Josh had walked towards him. It wasn’t until he felt the singer sit down beside him that Matt snapped out of his self-hating thoughts.

“Josh,” Matt breathed.

Ian’s head snapped up and he watched them carefully. Matt didn’t blame the man.

“Hey Matty,” Josh spoke quietly. “We should probably talk about last night.”

“I remember it all Josh,” Matt interjected.

Josh looked surprised. “You- you do?”

Matt sighed. “Yeah, and fuck Joshy. I’m so sorry about what I did to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.”

The singer’s features softened. “I know.”

“And,” Matt felt a little sheepish. “And I remember from the time before too.”

“You mentioned that last night… I wasn’t sure if you meant it.”

“I did… I- fuck I meant every word. I want-” Matt glanced up to see Ian watching them intently. He swung his gaze around and found Mike watching as well.

“What do you want Matty? Cause I’m fucking confused right about now.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I- Look, can we go talk about this in the back?”

Mike set his bottle of soda down on the table and Ian pushed up from his reclined position. Josh glanced over at both men and smiled reassuringly.

“Sure,” the singer stood first and swayed slightly.

Matt jumped up and put a hand between Josh’s shoulders to steady him. His hand felt too hot, but he didn’t move it when they started towards the back room. Josh sat down on the very edge of the bed and Matt hesitated. Josh didn’t speak, didn’t ask Matt to sit down with him, so Matt just leaned against the wall opposite the singer and crossed his arms.

“I’m sorry for hurting you Joshy,” Matt started again.

“Matt-”

“No, just listen okay? You haven’t been talking to me much lately, and it’s given me a lot of time to think about what happened between us. I’ve been a complete ass and I know it. I don’t think I ever really realized it, but I wanted you. Wanted to touch you, wanted to be with you, but I was too fucking scared to do anything about it. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.” Matt looked up to meet the singer’s gaze. “I remember your hands on me Joshy, how you made me feel. I was stupid to think it was a dream. Fucking stupid. I should have known from the start that it was real, that it was you and not some one-night stand from the bar in my dreams.”

Josh’s breath hitched but Matt continued.

“And I was watching you on stage last night and it hit me. It was your hands, your fucking beautiful hands. I didn’t know how to deal with it, with feeling that way for my best friend. I mean, we went to high school together. I’ve known you most of my life, and I didn’t want to screw up our relationship. But I already was. I was being a total dumbass and tearing us apart without even realizing it.”

Matt unfolded his arms and took a slow step closer to Josh. The singer didn’t move so Matt closed the gap between them and sank down on his knees at Josh’s feet.

“I shouldn’t have gone drinking last night. Maybe then I would have handled the whole thing better, but I guess it was my last ditch effort to push it all away. But then I heard your voice, and I knew I had to see you. I had to make things right. But then I just fucked it up again.”

Matt let his head drop down onto Josh’s knee, and he took a deep breath. His heart sped up when he felt Josh’s fingers hesitantly carding through his hair. Glancing up he found Josh’s blue eyes watching him.

“Matty,” Josh whispered.

“I attacked you Joshy. How could you want to be with me after that?”

“Stop it,” Josh urged.

“No, that’s just it. I didn’t stop last night, even when you asked me to Josh. You don’t deserve that. You deserve so much better.”

“But what if I do want you?” Josh asked.

Matt froze, his eyes locked with the singer’s. “How…”

“I love you Matty. Always have. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me; I know what it’s like to be so far gone that you do things you don’t mean to. I know Matt. You saw me at my worst, and now I think I’ve seen you at yours. And I can handle that.”

“But Joshy-”

“No, don’t ‘but Joshy’ me. All I ever wanted was for you to know how I felt, and then you forgot it when I told you. I didn’t even want to look at you it hurt so bad, but then last night you told me you remembered. And you weren’t lying. I was just so afraid that you would forget again, that you would just hype it up to a dream again. Something that wasn’t real. But you didn’t. And it is real. I’m not happy about the way you treated me last night, but I’m not mad either. You didn’t do much else other than give me a hell of a hickey, and I don’t think you would have.”

Josh sighed and tightened his hold in Matt’s hair. The younger man stayed silent, wanting to hear every word the singer was willing to give him.

“I want to be with you too Matt, but I can’t have you wanting me only when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk now Joshy,” Matt had to speak up then.

The singer smiled. “I know. That’s what makes this okay.”

“Makes what okay?”

Josh leaned in close, keeping his hold on Matt’s hair. “This,” he whispered.

Their lips slotted together softly, sliding against one another without pushing too hard. Josh kept his touch feather light, and Matt didn’t move a muscle. His eyes were closed tight as Josh continued to lightly press their lips together, and he just breathed the singer in.

Josh pulled back and his eyes fluttered open. Matt smiled, his eyes still closed.

“Can- can you do that again?” He asked.

“Look at me Matty,” Josh spoke softly.

Matt opened his eyes then, taking in the singer’s wet red lips. He licked his own lips and shuffled on his knees to wedge himself closer to Josh’s thigh.

“Is this what you want?” Josh asked. “Us? Together?”

Matt let out a blast of air. “Yes. Hell yes. I want you Joshy. All of you.” He scrunched up his face, “But you shouldn’t want me Joshy.”

Josh tugged on Matt’s hair until he hissed in pain. “Don’t tell me what I should and should not want Matty. I am a grown ass man, and despite what happened last night, I can take care of myself.”

Matt smiled and laughed softly. The singer’s grip in Matt’s hair had softened, Josh’s fingers curling and uncurling to massage the spot he had just hurt.

“I love you Matty,” Josh breathed.

“I- I love you too Joshy. I just didn’t know it before.”

“But you know it now.”

“Yes. And I’m not gonna forget it this time either. I promise you that.”

Josh crashed their lips together then, letting out a soft whimper when Matt let his tongue travel along the seam of the singer’s mouth. Josh let him in, and for the first time he was able to taste the younger man without also tasting alcohol. He was sweeter, warmer, against Josh’s tongue than he ever had been. Matt lifted up, his hands on either side of Josh’s waist on the bed, and deepened the kiss. This was his Joshy, and he knew it now.

Josh pulled away only to latch onto Matt’s neck, sucking and biting at the skin. Matt groaned and pushed the singer back on the bed, following after him so he was pressed between Josh’s spread thighs.

“Shit Joshy,” Matt mumbled.

The singer’s laugh could be felt against Matt’s neck where he still held on with his mouth. When he pulled back, Matt could see the wide smile spreading across the singer’s face.

“I want you Matty,” Josh whispered.

Matt groaned, “Not here Joshy, not on the bus.”

“Yes here. I’m not letting you go now that I have you. Not in any way.” He pulled the younger man down to press their lips together again. “I want to be with you.”

“But Mike and Ian…”

“So lock the door.”

“They won’t be happy about this. They’ve been hyper vigilant about me spending any time with you.”

“And rightly so Matty,” Josh looked up at the younger man.

Matt furrowed his brow in concern. “I’m sorry Joshy. Please. I didn’t-”

“Just lock the door,” Josh repeated and let his grasp on Matt loosen. But again, the younger man hesitated and Josh rolled them so Matt was flat against the mattress. “I’ll do it then.”

Matt sighed heavily and fisted his hands in the blankets. Josh got off the bed and stumbled a bit, making Matt nearly jump up after him, but the singer turned and pegged him with a glare.

“I’m fine,” Josh stated before going to the door. He stopped for a split second before opening the door and shouting to the others, “Matt and I will be having sex! If either of you tries to break this door down because it _will_ be locked then I will be forced to beat both of your asses.”

“Josh!” Matt jolted upright on the bed.

Matt could also make out similar sounds of protest coming from the other side of the door once Josh had shut and locked it. The singer turned around and strutted back to the bed, much steadier on his feet. He crawled up the bed, his knees falling to either side of Matt’s waist, and laid himself over the younger man.

“Please Matty,” he whispered into Matt’s ear, “I want to be with you.”

Matt groaned when he felt the singer’s hardness against his thigh. He wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist and flipped them so Josh could lie flat. “Your head hurts.”

“But so does something else of mine,” Josh insisted.

Matt laughed softly and nuzzled into the singer’s neck. “You’re always so sassy Ramsay. What am I supposed to do with you?”

“Hopefully something that feels really good.”

Matt leaned up to look the singer in the eye. “Only good Joshy, I never want to hurt you again.”

“You didn’t mean to the last time.”

“But I hurt you anyways…”

Josh leaned up and brushed his lips across the younger man’s. “But you didn’t mean to,” he repeated. “Matty, I want this okay? I’m so tired…so tired of trying to stay away from you when all I want is to stay right beside you.”

“Joshy-”

“No, hear me out okay? Before that night at the club when I took you home, all I ever did was try and keep you at a distance. I didn’t want to see you go home with another girl that would mean nothing to you in the morning. And I’m not trying to say that that’s all you ever do, ‘cause I know you’ve had some really great relationships in the past. I just… I’ve always tried to keep you at arm’s length so I wouldn’t get hurt, but then I didn’t and look what happened.”

Matt pursed his lips and hid in Josh’s neck. The singer threaded his fingers into Matt’s hair and held him close, whispering into his ear.

“But none of that matters. I love you Matty, and that’s not gonna change. Ever okay? You are way more important to me than a little bump on the head, and there’s no way I’m going to jeopardize our relationship, or even the band for that matter, just because I hit my head. I know you keep blaming yourself, and fuck, I know I can’t make you stop, but you need to know that I don’t hate you for doing what you did.”

“Why don’t you though?”

Josh grunted in frustration. “Because you were just trying to tell me that you loved me back. You were telling me exactly what I wanted to hear and I was pushing you away. Again. And I had good reason, I’d say, because you were piss ass drunk. And for the last fucking time, I don’t hate you because I fucking love you Matt!”

Matt finally lifted his face from the singer’s neck, “For the last time huh?”

“Fuckin- Matt if you don’t do something about this,” the singer lifted his hips to rub their hardened cocks together, “then I’m gonna fucking kick you out there with Mike and Ian, and handle this myself. I wasn’t just being metaphorical when I said I was tired, and my headache is making me grumpy. Now, do you want to deal with Mike and Ian, or do you want to deal with me?”

Matt answered the singer by sealing their lips together. Josh moaned loudly and opened his mouth to accept the younger man’s tongue, which had been prodding for entrance. Matt licked into him, tasted him, and lifted his hands to shimmy the older man’s shirt up. Letting out a soft chuckle, Josh allowed the shirt to be pulled over his head before reattaching his lips to Matt’s. The guitarist let his finger’s skim over the waistband of Josh’s skinny jeans, just feeling the smooth skin there until the singer became impatient and dropped his hands from Matt’s hair to undue his own snap and zipper.

Matt instantly let his hand delve into Josh’s boxers, seeking out the hard length and making Josh gasp when he found it. The singer pulled away from their kiss and threw his head back against the pillows, wincing slightly but rocking his hips into Matt’s hand faster.

“Uhn, Matty! Want- want more…” Josh panted.

The younger man let his hand fall away from the singer’s straining cock, and dropped his fingers lower. He brushed against the tight ring of muscle at Josh’s entrance and had the singer keening loudly into his chest. Matt pulled away only long enough to pull the singer’s pants and boxers away, leaving him bare, and to remove his own clothes.

Josh let out a breathy laugh as he accepted Matt’s weight between his legs again, cradling him. “You work fast Matty. That’s my kind of man.”

Matt smiled. “That’s all I want to be Joshy, yours.”

“Then show me,” Josh’s voice went softer, raspier as he tilted his hips up again.

Matt wrapped his hands around the singer’s hips and ground against him, but hesitated again. “I can’t like this Joshy. Not without something to…”

Josh smiled and looked around the little room for a second before twisting away and back again. “Here,” he pushed something into Matt’s hand.

The younger man looked to see a bottle of his own hand lotion. He let out a small chuckle and snapped the lid open. “MacGyver on the go I see.”

“Like you’ve never used it for similar…activities,” Josh countered.

Matt just blushed and coated two fingers before bringing them back to Josh’s entrance. He rubbed around the tight ring a few times to get it slick before sliding in a single finger. Josh gave a small puff of air and closed his eyes as Matt wiggled the digit inside of the older man’s tight heat. It wasn’t long before he was able to add a second, and after using some more of the lotion a third. Josh was writhing beneath him as Matt pumped his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch the singer for what was next.

When Matt curled his fingers though, and brushed against the singer’s prostate, Josh clamped down. His body tightened around Matt’s fingers, and he let out a long moan. Matt kept at it, rubbing the small little bundle of nerves until Josh was whimpering.

“Matty! Please Matty, I need you,” Josh whined.

Matt slowed his movements and pulled his fingers out one at a time. Josh groaned from the loss of the younger man’s touch and wiggled his hips as if to tell Matt he had to hurry. The singer was clinging to Matt’s shoulders, his nails digging into the younger man’s skin and leaving little crescent shaped marks. His legs were loosely wrapped around Matt’s waist, and when he felt the younger man line himself up, his hold tightened.

“Last chance to tell me no Joshy,” Matt panted. He had already coated his cock in more lotion, wanting so badly to just push in, but he also wanted to be absolutely sure the man below him was ready.

Josh’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze looking unfocused, and he stared up at Matt with a little smile. “Not a chance, Webb. Don’t make me wait anymore.”

Matt smiled too and leaned forward to nibble at the singer’s bottom lip. He licked into Josh’s mouth and, without warning, shifted so he was able to sink into Josh’s heat. He went slow, only a few inches at first, but when Josh moaned and sucked hard on Matt’s tongue, he couldn’t hold back. His hips bucked forward, pushing Josh up further on the bed, and causing the singer to cry out.

Josh whimpered and pressed his face into the crook of Matt’s shoulder. “Nnngh, Matty it…”

Matt held the singer close. “Are you okay Joshy? I’m sorry, so sorry. Do- fuck, do you want me to pull out?”

Josh took small, quick breaths, and shook his head. “N-no, no don’t. Just give me a minute to adjust okay? ‘S not so bad, just- just so full.”

Matt couldn’t help the little quirk of a smile that teased his lips. “Sorry baby,” he breathed.

The singer laughed breathlessly, and after they stayed still for a few minutes Josh nodded. “O-okay. It’s okay now.”

Matt could feel the slight release of tension in the singer’s body, and hesitantly pulled his hips back a fraction of an inch before sliding back in. Josh sucked in a small gasp and held on to Matt’s shoulders a little tighter.

“More,” the singer whispered.

Matt let go of a breath he had been holding and relaxed above the singer. He turned his head, his nose nuzzling into Josh’s hair, and laid a soft kiss to Josh’s neck. Widening he knees, Matt slipped a hand under the singer’s waist and pulled him closer before shifting his hips back. He pulled nearly all the way out and waited for Josh to glance up at him in question before slamming forward.

Josh’s head fell back onto the pillow at the feeling of Matt’s hard length pumping into him, a soft whimper escaping his lips. He could feel the younger man’s arm around him, his lips on Josh’s exposed neck again, and the pleasure was quickly building in his lower belly as Matt did it again. And then again. The guitarist was picking up speed, his hips rutting back and forth, in and out as he left a trail of kisses up Josh’s neck and across his jaw line to his lips.

“Matty,” Josh whispered into the younger man’s mouth before latching on.

Matt moaned into the kiss, sucking on Josh’s lips and tongue as he kept his hips moving back and forth at a relentless pace. Josh was making little noises at the back of his throat, little moans and whimpers, and Matt caught each one with his mouth and drank it down. He tilted his head to the side as he arched his back outwards, curling his shoulders as he pulled Josh’s hips down onto his cock a little bit more with each thrust of his hips. He was nearly holding the singer completely off the mattress with just one arm hooked around Josh’s waist, but the older man didn’t seem to mind, his shoulders and upper back supporting him where Matt wasn’t. Josh’s legs were around Matt’s waist in turn, his heels locked together as he tilted into each pump of Matt’s cock into him.

Josh had to pull back for air when the head of Matt’s length bumped into that bundle of nerves inside him again. “Matty,” Josh cried.

The younger man smiled as he drove his hips forward over and over, hitting that spot again and again as Josh writhed beneath him. The singer’s hair was plastered to his forehead, the blond and blue streaks dampened by sweat. His lips were swollen and red, parting into tiny gasps every time Matt hit his prostate again. His fingers were curved against Matt’s spine, one perched just above Matt’s ass at his lower back and digging in.

“That’s it Joshy,” Matt urged. The singer was keening higher and higher, but Matt didn’t care about making noise anymore, he just wanted to see Josh shaking apart in his arms.

Josh whimpered against Matt’s neck, the stretch of his body around Matt’s cock burning through him. He kept his eyes closed, his vision shot to shit anyways with how fogged the younger man’s body had made him. He could hear Matt murmuring into his ear, but it took him a few minutes to figure out what was being said.

“Come on…Come on Joshy, come for me. Want you to come for me. Come on,” Matt chanted.

“Almost there,” Josh whispered. He bit into Matt’s neck lightly and let out a heavy breath. “Almost there Matty, just- just a little more. L-love having you inside me.”

Matt let out a low moan, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his own belly tighten close to release. He forced himself to hold it back and worked his hips back faster, his cock in harder, and held Josh tighter. He pulled his arm out from under the singer, Josh holding on with his legs to keep himself where he was, and wrapped his hand around the older man’s straining length. Josh let out a broken wail, the sound cut short by a whimper when Matt began pumping his hand.

“You’re so smooth,” Matt marveled.

He flicked his thumb over the head of the singer’s cock, the area slick with pre cum, and matched the movements of his hand to his hips. Every time he drove forward into the singer’s heat, he would send his hand down towards Josh’s base and squeeze a little tighter. When he would pull his hips back, Matt would lift his fingers to the very tip of Josh’s length and feather over the sensitive head. Josh was nearly sobbing beneath him.

“I- I can’t,” Josh panted. “Matty I can’t hold on…”

Matt smiled and leaned down to trail his tongue over Josh’s collarbone before speaking into the singer’s ear. “Don’t then Joshy. Just let go for me. Let me feel you when you come.”

Matt tilted his hips just right again, driving into Josh’s sweet spot full force and the singer fell apart. Josh let out a soft, low moan into Matt’s neck where he had nuzzled into. The sound held as Matt continued to fuck the singer through his release, his fingers and chest getting coated in the warm liquid leaking heavily out of Josh’s twitching cock. The singer’s body clamped down, tightening around Matt and pulling him into his own climax.

“Fuuuuck, Joshy…” Matt groaned and slowed his hips to a gentle rock, just moving slightly back and forth as his filled the singer with his release.

Josh moaned again, softer than before, and feathered kisses against Matt’s neck until he stopped moving completely. The younger man was wracked with aftershocks, tremors rolling through his body as every touch of the singer’s lips to his skin or every graze of fingertips. When Josh moved his hips, Matt groaned.

Matt put a restraining hand on Josh’s thigh. “Don’t- don’t move just yet.”

Josh didn’t move for a moment, but was soon wiggling against Matt again. “Legs hurt a little,” he admitted.

Matt understood instantly, he had had the singer curled up tight, and when he shuffled back quickly to give Josh the room to stretch the singer sighed in relief. Matt let his softened length slip away from the singer as well, but that pulled a whimper from the older man. His fingers tightened on Matt’s shoulders before the tension drained away with a kiss from Matt. The younger man fell down beside the singer and pulled him against his chest. Josh cuddled close and let out a sigh.

“Heads spinning,” Josh murmured.

Matt jolted, “Shit! Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Mm…mhm, I’m fine. Maybe a Tylenol would be nice though, I know I’m gonna be sore when I wake up.”

Matt just took in the singer’s appearance. Josh still had dark circles under his eyes, but his cheeks had a healthy glow from all the exertion, and Matt couldn’t help himself from brushing his lips across the singer’s parted ones. Josh smiled and perked his lips out slightly before turning into the pillow again.

“I’ll go get you some water and a pain reliever,” Matt murmured.

Josh hummed but didn’t move otherwise. When Matt climbed off the bed, he made sure to cover the singer in the forgotten blanket that had somehow tumbled off the mattress at some point. Josh nearly purred at the warmth and curled into the soft blanket as Matt pulled on his jeans again, using his shirt to clean the mess left on his hand and chest as he went to unlock the door. The instant he had the door open though, there was a scramble from across the other side of the bus and Matt turned just in time to see Mike and Ian barreling towards him.

Matt let out a very unmanly shriek and scrambled away from the door, Josh jolted upright on the bed and twisted around to see the two older men rushing in. Mike was at Josh’s side in an instant, looking the singer over to make sure he was alright. Ian had Matt trapped against the back wall with an arm barred across the younger man’s chest to keep him in place.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Josh demanded.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you again?” Mike rattled out.

“Do I need to kick his ass?” Ian offered.

Josh tried to push Mike’s hands away as he caught sight of the predicament Matt was in. “The only one who’s getting their ass beat is you Casselman if you don’t get off my Matty.”

Ian hesitated but dropped his arm and Matt breathed a little easier. Josh focused on Mike then, throwing his arms up and shouting in frustration.

“Will you stop?! I am fine! Mike please, I am not a child!”

Mike backed off, but stayed close and eyed Matt warily. “You’re sure everything is fine?”

“I’m the one that locked the door, okay? I’m the one that announced what Matt and I were going to be doing. I knew exactly what was going to happen, it was mutual, it was good, you have nothing to worry about. He didn’t hurt me.” Josh stopped to catch his breath, dropping his head into his hand and closing his eyes.

“You’re not fine,” Ian stepped forward.

“Yeah, ya think?” Josh glared up at the curly haired man. “My head is pounding now with all the trouble you two have caused. I would have been asleep by now had it not been for you and Ayley here. Matt was going to get me a Tylenol when you burst in here like the place was on fire.”

“Why did you need the pill in the first place?” Mike asked.

Josh sighed in frustration and plopped back down on the mattress, the blanket he had curled up with lying loose around his hips. “Look, guys, I love you two okay? But right now, all I want is to go to sleep and have Matt next to me when I do it. We talked. You don’t need to worry. Can I please just have my Matty back?”

Matt smiled and took a step forward, loving the sound of being called Josh’s Matty. Ian stopped him again though, just lifting his hand slightly and looking to Josh.

“You didn’t answer the question Josh, why did you need the Tylenol in the first place?”

“Ugh! Cause I hit my head last night! That’s not going away.” Josh fixed the drummer with a death glare. “And if you realized how willing to kill you I was right now, you would not be stopping Matt from coming over here.”

“What?” Ian frowned.

“Damn it Casselman, I want to cuddle with Matt! He and I just had incredible sex, and all I want to do is have him hold me while I sleep. And do you know what is stopping that? You. Mike already backed off, why haven’t you?”

“Because I was there the morning after his first drunken mistake. I saw the way he hurt you, and I want to make sure he doesn’t do it again.”

“He’s not drunk right now Ian,” Josh spoke soothingly now, understanding where his friend’s protectiveness was coming from. “He’s very sober, and I love him, and he loves me, and I just want to hold him.”

Matt could see the sheen of tears in Josh’s eyes and pushed past the drummer to get to Josh’s side. He had had enough. He knelt on the mattress and gathered the singer in his arms.

“It’s okay Joshy, I’m right here. Don’t cry baby, what’s the matter?” Matt cooed.

Josh held tight to Matt’s shoulders and sniffled pathetically. “Sorry, shit I’m sorry. I’m a fucking mess. My head hurts and I’m tired. Can we just go to sleep now? Please?”

Ian stepped back, standing beside Mike as they watched Matt rock Josh back and forth.

“Of course baby, just let me get you that medicine okay? You can sleep all you want when I get back and I won’t leave your side. Okay?” Matt murmured.

Josh nodded into Matt’s chest and the younger man helped him to lie back down. He pulled the blanket back up to Josh’s chest and kissed the singer’s forehead. Josh wiped the wetness from his cheeks and smiled widely as Matt hurried from the room. Ian shuffled on his feet uncomfortably and Mike cleared his throat. Josh turned to look at them wearily.

“We’re sorry,” Mike started.

Josh smiled and nodded, “Me too, sorry for being so grumpy with you.”

“’S okay,” Ian assured. “We didn’t mean to upset you. You know we just want to protect you.”

“I know. Thank you.”

The two older men nodded and shuffled out of the back room’s door just as Matt came back in carrying a water bottle and a little pill. He shut the door behind him and crawled onto the bed beside the singer.

“Here Joshy,” Matt offered what he held and Josh took them gratefully. He waited until the singer had swallowed down the pill, watching as Josh drank more of the water out of thirst, before screwing the cap back on and setting the bottle aside. “Better yet?”

Josh laughed softly, “Not just yet.”

“What can I do?”

“You can get over here and cuddle me like I have been saying you should for the last ten minutes,” Josh urged.

Matt smiled warmly and inched closer, pulling the singer into his arms. Josh sighed happily and rested his head on Matt’s chest, his hands curled up into fists tucked under his chin. “How ‘bout now?”

“Now I’m much better,” Josh hummed.

“Good,” Matt kissed the singer’s cheek and held him closer. “You can sleep now too you know?”

Josh smiled, already feeling himself drifting. “Love you Matty.”

“I love you too Joshy,” Matt whispered.

Josh hummed quietly and let himself drift completely into sleep, feeling warm from Matt’s arms wrapped around him. Matt held him close, just watching him for a long time. He could feel the tickle of Josh’s breath on his chest and leaned down to brush his lips across the singer’s head.

“I love you so damn much,” Matt whispered, holding the singer tighter still. Josh murmured in his sleep and nuzzled his cheek against Matt’s chest, making the younger man smile widely.

Settling down himself, Matt made sure his hold wouldn’t loosen on the singer and let himself drift into sleep as well with the man he loved tucked safely in his arms.


End file.
